30

(wow! where has this month gone?
i meant to write this piece a long time ago, but somehow have not gotten a chance to catch my breath until now. kind of ironic, i guess...but here it goes.)

i turned 30 this month. and i have contemplated where these last ten years have gone.
spanning two states, four cities, and five loves.

i left home bound for college a new woman and found out i was still very much a little girl.

i laughed with roomies, fought with roomies, moved in and out.

i lived in small worlds and dreamed very big dreams.

i failed algebra, twice, but some how still somehow managed to get my gpa up to passing with sheer determination.

i watched the blinking lights in the distance and cried into the window hoping he would not see me, my hand resting on the seat beside me, just in case.

i broke.

i read the prophet.

i moved on.

a new state, a new start, a new life.

i lauged with roomies, i fought with roomies, we worked things out.

i walked to the quad and sipped coffee in the piazza.

i went to the shakespeare festival in the courtyard.

i walked to the clb.

i heard my hearts yearning sung in a few emo lines. "lead my skeptic sight, to the table and the light."--JEW

he went to new york without me.

i let go.

we let the big ole texas sky grow smaller behind us and we all put down roots in the magnolia state.

i lost my ole bad fox.

i swam an endless summer away with friends.

i walked to the cafeteria and we laughed at each other's stories.

i passed contemporary math.

i drove to atlanta and saw tony hawk pull a 900.

i sat at gravity and we contemplated our journies.

i dreamed of the next chapters my life would take.

i walked across the stage and in an instant it was over.

i listened to james taylor sing his songs directly to me.

i started anew in the berg.

i mothered my little brood of jay birds at the preschool.

i visited my little brother at southern.

i laughed with roomies, i fought with roomies, i moved back to jackson.

i hosted a party for the rockwell's and the illinois'.

i walked to the park with dusty and may and scott.

i punked wes.

i went to "the hat".

i fell for a broken heart.

i watched my dandy slip away.

i moved back in with mom and dad.

scott and molly finally left for nc after several last night's in town.

i drove to new orleans, and destin and duke.

i stayed up all night and went ice skating in the morning.

a new "little brother" moved in.

i wore many hats.

i loved a little boy genious.

i played pirate games and almost made a movie.

i got a precious puppy.

i taught bible and art and enlglish and journalism.

i pulled my hair out.

i bought a house.

i loved a broken heart until he broke mine.

i flew to europe.

i lisened to music in an irish pub, laughed with a young scot,laid on the beaches of the ligurian sea, and stood on the streets of rome.

i came home better, but broken still.

i wondered where it all had gone.

i moved on again.

i sorted books and sorted it all out.

i grew.

i began to heal.

i laughed with thunder.

i prayed with debbie and linda.

i shared a car.

i smiled at my siblings smiling faces.

i cried tears of joy.

i laughed and laughed until it hurt.

i went to church with may.

i went to church with jacob.

i cried with minda.

i laughed with minda.

i learned the meaning of the word sister.

i drove out to deer field and fixed suppers and tucked in my little loved ones.

i fell again for a broken heart.

i drove around clinton with leslie.

i tried to fix him and failed.

i broke again but my "brother" saved me.

i drove to the berg.

i watched as my evie saw her reward for the first time.

i broke with boo.

i started over yet again, and here i am...

...on the first day of my "next ten years", i received a precious and thoughtful gift from my dearest friend. heh. i just realized it, but its something that will maybe help keep me on a straighter path.

i am hopeful that the next ten years will be just as full.

even to overflowing...