(wow! where has this month gone?
i meant to write this piece a long time ago, but somehow have not gotten a chance to catch my breath until now. kind of ironic, i guess...but here it goes.)
i turned 30 this month. and i have contemplated where these last ten years have gone.
spanning two states, four cities, and five loves.
i left home bound for college a new woman and found out i was still very much a little girl.
i laughed with roomies, fought with roomies, moved in and out.
i lived in small worlds and dreamed very big dreams.
i failed algebra, twice, but some how still somehow managed to get my gpa up to passing with sheer determination.
i watched the blinking lights in the distance and cried into the window hoping he would not see me, my hand resting on the seat beside me, just in case.
i broke.
i read the prophet.
i moved on.
a new state, a new start, a new life.
i lauged with roomies, i fought with roomies, we worked things out.
i walked to the quad and sipped coffee in the piazza.
i went to the shakespeare festival in the courtyard.
i walked to the clb.
i heard my hearts yearning sung in a few emo lines. "lead my skeptic sight, to the table and the light."--JEW
he went to new york without me.
i let go.
we let the big ole texas sky grow smaller behind us and we all put down roots in the magnolia state.
i lost my ole bad fox.
i swam an endless summer away with friends.
i walked to the cafeteria and we laughed at each other's stories.
i passed contemporary math.
i drove to atlanta and saw tony hawk pull a 900.
i sat at gravity and we contemplated our journies.
i dreamed of the next chapters my life would take.
i walked across the stage and in an instant it was over.
i listened to james taylor sing his songs directly to me.
i started anew in the berg.
i mothered my little brood of jay birds at the preschool.
i visited my little brother at southern.
i laughed with roomies, i fought with roomies, i moved back to jackson.
i hosted a party for the rockwell's and the illinois'.
i walked to the park with dusty and may and scott.
i punked wes.
i went to "the hat".
i fell for a broken heart.
i watched my dandy slip away.
i moved back in with mom and dad.
scott and molly finally left for nc after several last night's in town.
i drove to new orleans, and destin and duke.
i stayed up all night and went ice skating in the morning.
a new "little brother" moved in.
i wore many hats.
i loved a little boy genious.
i played pirate games and almost made a movie.
i got a precious puppy.
i taught bible and art and enlglish and journalism.
i pulled my hair out.
i bought a house.
i loved a broken heart until he broke mine.
i flew to europe.
i lisened to music in an irish pub, laughed with a young scot,laid on the beaches of the ligurian sea, and stood on the streets of rome.
i came home better, but broken still.
i wondered where it all had gone.
i moved on again.
i sorted books and sorted it all out.
i grew.
i began to heal.
i laughed with thunder.
i prayed with debbie and linda.
i shared a car.
i smiled at my siblings smiling faces.
i cried tears of joy.
i laughed and laughed until it hurt.
i went to church with may.
i went to church with jacob.
i cried with minda.
i laughed with minda.
i learned the meaning of the word sister.
i drove out to deer field and fixed suppers and tucked in my little loved ones.
i fell again for a broken heart.
i drove around clinton with leslie.
i tried to fix him and failed.
i broke again but my "brother" saved me.
i drove to the berg.
i watched as my evie saw her reward for the first time.
i broke with boo.
i started over yet again, and here i am...
...on the first day of my "next ten years", i received a precious and thoughtful gift from my dearest friend. heh. i just realized it, but its something that will maybe help keep me on a straighter path.
i am hopeful that the next ten years will be just as full.
even to overflowing...
