a few weeks ago i posted a brandon heath song that i had been listening to. the words had really hit home with me. such a beautiful song and brandon heath sings it so sweetly.
unbeknownst to me my father, after reading that blog, looked up the chords and lyrics and began to prepare to sing it at a music festival our church had. when he sang those words they touched me even more than they had before. maybe it was his deep, quiet vocal. maybe it was the preparation that i knew he had put into it, or the humble way that he sang, but i just sat there and wept as he played and poured out his heart.
i think that those words and the sentiment of the song had already been so what i needed to hear, and then to hear my father sing it, well that just did it.
i remember when we were small and the world was somehow smaller too, we used to go down to grandmother nannie and granddaddy frank's house out in the country in prentiss. we loved their old farm. the barn. the chicken coop. the cows. the old farm house. and the woods. it seemed that time slowed down when we arrived but still somehow managed to be gone all too quickly. we could spend endless hours on that front porch, rocking in those old chairs, swinging on that tree swing, playing in those fields. but as wonderful as it was, heavenly even, i was always a little scared when night fall rolled around. maybe it was the way the old gas lit heaters in the bathroom crackled, the eerie glow that followed as i walked by. maybe it was the country noises that i was not accustomed to hearing in the city, the owls screeching, the cows off in the distance calling their young in for the night, the crickets like a symphony outside the open window. whatever it was that frightened me i am not sure, but what i do remember with certainty is what always hushed me to sleep.
one cool summer night stands out most vividly in my mind. i was laying in the back bedroom under the sheets beside Minda, baby coday in the crib, and Daddy had his guitar. he sang silly songs like john denver's "grandma's feather bed," and randall o'brien's ballad about satan and jesus in a battle over a basketball game entitled "Go with God." then when it was time for our little minds to quiet down and allow dreams to hush us, he sang a simple song that im still not sure if he just made up on the spot, or if it was an actual song, but which ever the case may be, i remember every word. in fact, i have talked to minda and coday about it in years past and they remember it too. like a title track that plays over and over in our minds on the soundtrack of our lives.
"you can rest easy, you can rest easy.
children, jesus is watching over you.
jesus is watching over you.
so you can rest easy, tonight."
so simple. so pure. so consuming.
and we all slept. that night, and every night since.
i remember years later as a college student when i worked at camp garaywa in clinton. i was in charge of a cabin full of elementary aged girls and many of them were frightened at night as they were away from home for the first time. we hushed them to sleep as best we could with stories and songs, but truth be told i was frightened as well. far from my home in texas, a restless heart and a weary mind, sleep did not come easy for me even after all the other girls in my care were sound asleep. scott had given me a copy of pedro the lion's, whole ep and i would listen to the song, "lullaby" over and over.
"rest in me. little david.
dry all your tears.
you can lay down your armor,
and have no fears.
cause im always here when your tired of running,
im all the strength that you need."
so simple. so honest. so true.
i guess as i heard daddy sing brandon heath's song the other night, it rang out for me loud and clear as these other moments have.
Zephaniah 3:17 says,
"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
like a sweet daddy's love in a scary, unknown world, like a melodic message of truth in a far away new place the Lord has been singing over me all of my life.
a friend offered this advice that she had read to me the other day. when you pray and ask god for something like peace, pray for it once, and then accept it. so often times i pray over and over and over again for peace, and all the while the Lord is offering it to me. singing it over me. and i just need to be quiet and listen to His song.
if we are quiet He will hush us. He will whisper moment by moment to us. If we are obedient to His whispers, He will bless us and we will be more able to hear His song more clearly.
im full of thoughts about songs today but another one comes to mind by a band that we listened to back in college called "the normals" entitled "the survivor"
"I stand on the bloodfield
Shell-shocked and guilty
The sole survivor escaped what we all had coming
And feelings are fiction
As we watch our loved ones diving
And for some strange reason we just keep on marching
The ice that drips from isolation has melted me to this
In all of my power this is all I can offer
And its broken its broken its broken
But somewhere the good King has been claiming His victory
And its offered its offered its offered
To the survivor
My greatest confession is that what I claim dearly
Is the very thing that leaves me so scared
I know peace lies in silence and prayer is its heartbeat
But I dont feel it beating in me
What if I find in the quiet that all I am is the sum of my habits
In all of my power this is all I can offer
And its broken its broken its broken,
But somewhere the good king has been claiming His victory
And its offered to me to me
And your answer to my questions is be still and know that I Am
And I Am Love
I Am and I Am Love
And right here the good king has been claiming His victory
And its offered its offered its offered
Its given its given its given to the survivor."
minda actually got to hear former band member andrew osenga play at the journey the other night, and when she told him how much his music had touched her, he was blown away. he had not realized that anyone at the show had even listened to the normals nor that the music that they had made as a band had touched so many lives. as i think about it, i realize that scott probably has no idea that the album he offered to me that night had such calming effects on me that summer, nor does daddy probably remember with such clarity that night in prentiss. and what strikes me about all of these events is that it was not the person so much as what was sung that has haunted me like a sweet fragrance in my heart. rather it is who it was that these precious men were sharing that has had such a lasting effect, that offers the truth of the passage in zephaniah.
yes, there is a battle going on all around us every day. a battle that is much bloodier and much scarier than we even sometimes realize in the modern day comforts of our western world.
and yes, the battle in our own hearts with our own emotions sometimes feels overwhelming even to the point of breaking.
but the truth of scripture is that right here, no matter where right here is, the good King is claiming his victory and offering it to us!! He is singing over us His victory and His Love!
in these past months i have been blessed to be able to be a part of the lives of these children that i care for and one of my greatest joys each day is putting the boys down for their naps. holding their sweet little bodies, rocking them softly to sleep. i love it when ben asks for a song. i am not so naive as to think that years from now when they are grown they will remember much about these days when i loved them, but it is my prayer that what i sing over them, who i sing over them and who i allow to sing through me will resonate in their hearts like an eternal lullaby of the Lord's grace, victory, and love.
