its hard sometimes..

Sometimes its hard being the little brother.
I am learning this as i am the nannie for three precious kiddos. Madilynn age 4, Ben age 2 1/2 and Nathan age 10 months.
All sweet children. All so eager to grow and learn and laugh and love.
I guess i relate the most to Maddy. As the big sister in my family i know what it is to feel a sense of superiority. To always be the "teacher", the "mommy", the "boss".
But as i said i am finding out that it is hard sometimes to be younger. to be too little.
To have to watch the door close as daddy takes sister on a big kid outing.
To have to practice staying in the lines with your crayons while bigger hands get to use scissors and markers.
To be told by the "mommy" to go play with your cars when all you are trying to do is rock your baby to sleep.
I'm learning to watch closely. To monitor the very same behavior that i am sure that i once exhibited as a big sis.
Its hard sometimes to be the big sister, too.
To have to share the toys that once were all your own.
To have to wait patiently for your turn while little hands work slower than you.
To grow and learn and laugh and love...with someone else.
This last weekend my little brother and i spent the whole day together.
We went to eat at the bottling company and then had cupcakes at the new sweet shop. We spent the whole day talking,reminiscing about texas and planning for our futures. What a precious day!
It so much easier sometimes to fight. When you know someone so well, when you know all the buttons to push, sometimes love has to be a choice. A beautiful choice.
This week my little brother has had to face some difficult things on his own without the watchful eye of big sis. And maybe this is best, cause the "boss" has a few choice words that she would like to say to a certain someone.
I know that he will handle the whole situation the way that he has all along. Like a man full of grace and integrity.
Madilynn is pretending to be the "mommy" as i write these thoughts down on a piece of blue construction paper. Ben is the "baby" and he is crying this sweet little play cry.
Sometimes its hard to share our lives together. But moments like the one i am watching between Madilynn and Ben, like the ones i had with Boo this weekend, these are the moments that we can step back and say, its worth it.