truth be told

ok you want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. here it is. i am not the domestic goddess i aspire to be! and how bout this one, being married is hard!! and further more there is such a thing as post wedding depression, when the big day is over and all the planning is complete and you are left with a foggy memory of a day you dreamed your whole life about. i almost couldn't even look at pics, i was so deep there for a while in this post-big day funk. after two years or so of blogging on this site i decided to switch to a new blog with a brand new title and twist. "from the knot to the nest" was supposed to chronicle my journey from wedded bliss to peaceful mrs. and on ito my life of motherhood. i had dreams of awe inspiring photos, tear jerking posts and clever how to tips. what i ended up with instead was a few short boring blogs of day to day blah blah blah and a whole lot of nothing. i hated this but i have finally come to grips with the fact that this is because, again, truth coming out here, if i had actaully chronicled what really happened in the last year and half you would have my journey to the brink of becoming a bridezilla, my never ending struggle to keep up with housework, and my exciting but oh so soon and unexpected preganancy barely three months after our marriage. not exactly the blog i had in mind when i pictured them making the next julie and julia movie about me! and now, as i round the corner of the third trimester of this preganancy and look headlong into not only my first wedding anniversary but also to the birth of our first child, i realize honesty is now, if ever, the best. and when i am honest with myself, i realize i was never going to be a domestic goddess with baking recipes, cleaning tips and well thought out marriage advice. thats just not who i am. i will leave that to the bettys, and marthas, and annes. no mine has always been a less formal style of just a writer, an untrained one at that, who is honest with herself and with the readers about the inner workings of her heart. and so i pledge to begin again. because writing out what is in my heart somehow nourishes my soul, and to be running low on ink is better than to be running on empty any day.